


Laid out

by Dreigon



Category: Granblue Fantasy (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, No Beta, Resolved Feelings, a 'what if' scenario bassically, a bit of angst, feru might be a bit ooc?, they have a Talk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-29
Updated: 2019-10-29
Packaged: 2021-01-07 23:14:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21225839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dreigon/pseuds/Dreigon
Summary: Sandalphon can't conceal his thoughts and feelings anymore, he decides it's time to talk it out with Lucifer. Pre-rebellion/Garden Lab times.





	Laid out

**Author's Note:**

> Feather Memories is giving me some trouble and IRL is not helping at all. Have a LuciSan drabble I did a while ago in the meaning time.

Confronting the Supreme Primarch was the hardest and most intimidating thing Sandalphon did since his conception, but couldn't hold his feelings anymore after that day. Lucifer and Lucilius conversation had been gnawing at his head ever since he happened upon them. He decided one day to talk it down with his own very creator, and he was a mess of emotions. Sandalphon felt nothing but love and adoration for the emotionally awkward Supreme Primarch that, over time, Sandalphon taught him ways he could share his feelings. At first, the sparrow winged angel mused if this was his true purpose, to be a teacher for Lucifer and guide him through where he struggled the most, but felt it was far too simple. Was Lucifer even aware of his own struggles or did he simply brush them off as a design choice made by Lucilius?

Unable to hold his feelings down anymore Sandalphon decided to come down and talk whenever the Supreme Primarch was busy or not. This time, he would be assertive and get what he wanted. And what he wanted were answers, an explanation, a reason.

It took him a few moments to start up, he was ever so overwhelmed with emotions every time they were alone and Sandalphon couldn't coherently form words, proper sentences even less, but once he got his train of thought going, it was easy to expose his heart to Lucifer. And he showed every single thing that bothered him up to that moment, every single emotion of uncertainty, every single moment where he doubted himself and the word of Lucifer without realizing, and Lucifer listened quietly.

The first impulse Lucifer had was to embrace and cover Sandalphon with his arms and wings but restrained himself, it was not the time nor the moment to do so. When his creation finished the alud of emotions he smiled calmly, taking a few moments as well to wonder where to even begin.

Lucifer figured the best course of action was to explain how he felt during the creation process.

"When Lucilius came to me and said this primal beast wound out to be a replacement, I was devastated.", he started looking down to Sandalphon with a sad smile on his face. "The project begun, according to him, as a way to ease my burdens for being the Supreme Primarch, and I was overjoyed!", if there was something Lucifer couldn't do was to fake his own emotions. "I was completely absorbed into the process of creating; the ideas, the myriad of possibilities I could come up with, the myriad of purposes I could pour onto it. It was a process that also allowed me to understand Lucilius more than I already do, as well, and I'm grateful for that, too."

Lucifer's wings disappeared in a flash and took a seat on the couch from the little library they were in. However, Sandalphon stood in front of him, not feeling particularly in the mood to follow. The other primarch did not make any comments about it and simply kept talking.

"Once I knew the primal was meant to be a replacement, I wondered, why was that all for? Why guide me and rouse me into this project if the primal's sole purpose for existing was to become a spare? Anything I came up with would have been accepted, regardless of the outcome.", Lucifer crossed his legs and allowed his hands to rest on his lap, taking a few moments again. "It was pointless. I thought it was pointless but said to myself, I will make this work. I would not bring someone to life just to be an emergency failsafe in case anything happens to me. No, it was not fair to have such meaningless purpose programmed into them. It’s cruel, but something that Lucilius would not have thought that much as I did because he, too, can be cruel at times even with his most precious creation."

Sandalphon realized, in those very moments, what it actually meant to be the Supreme Primarch, what it entitled to, what it cost to be. He couldn't even begin to understand what Lucifer was going through. He didn't allow those thoughts to mature too much, this was about him, not Lucifer.

"When he created me, he poured everything he thought it was necessary to make the most perfect creation, the strongest and most intelligent creature ever made by any Astral researcher in the far lands of Estalucia. He would have the most noble and upstanding purpose in the entirely of the realm, as well. After all, what could surpass overseeing evolution as the most noble of purposes?", a wry smile adorned his lips and Sandalphon stared briefly. This might have been the first time he saw Lucifer react with disdain at his own words. "And so, that very same purpose he so highly thought of, is also the bane of my own very existence."

"...Hahah, how could that be? Anyone would love to have the freedom you have, Lucifer.", Sandalphon commented for the first time, almost mockingly without realizing. He still didn't know how all of this is connected with his creation and lack of purpose and hated to admit that, while felt this went nowhere, he was finally getting some insight to Lucifer's mind and didn't want to waste the opportunity either.

Lucifer looked up to him when he heard the words, a glint of unsuspecting anger briefly flaring up, then closed his eyes and turned his head away. Sandalphon saw it and almost feared he overstepped, yet again, with his words.

"Of course you don't understand, how could anyone do?", he said, mostly to himself than to his companion. "A purpose burdens, a purpose locks you in place, you are not allowed to do anything outside of it. You are only allowed to do things that could potentially benefit or improve on it. How could someone like you, how could someone like the Primarchs, how could someone like Lucilius even begin to understand that I am a prisoner of my own existence?", he opened his eyes and stood up, a deep frown on his face as he looked at Sandalphon. "I created you free, free of any burdens, free of any orders, free of your own thoughts, free to choose whatever you wished to be and yet, here you are, longing for a purpose.", he sighed, shoulders dropping and expression mellowing.

Lucifer was, in the end, unable to stay angry at Sandalphon of all people, but his flourishing emotions were too much.

"I didn't... I didn't want that for you, I didn't want you to go through what I did. Many times I wished to spread my wings and fly away, away from Lucilius and Estalucia, away from the facilities, but... I can't. I'm unable to, no matter how hard I try."

Lucifer fidgeted with his fingers, he wanted to hold onto his creation but knew he shouldn't. Sandalphon's expression softened quite remarkably after hearing that, however.

"A primal beast bound to a purpose and that purpose to be my shadow, never to achieve greater things? Never to achieve anything for themselves? To live being constantly compared to me? To be belittled for not being as good as me?", unable to resist, Lucifer placed his hands on Sandalphon's shoulders. "I couldn't do that to you, no, and so I created you as, perhaps, the opposite of what Lucilius and the High Council expected me to. The embodiment of freedom and Love, because you are everything I love and held dear about Life.", Lucifer's smile couldn't be any brighter or bigger and Sandalphon's core ached and swelled with intense feelings at the same time, his arms and legs trembled. "As an act of Love, I couldn't give you a purpose. I couldn't keep you prisoner of these walls, of these thoughts, but I am afraid, in the end, I caused you more pain and distress that I wanted to. For that, I deeply apologize.", not resisting the urges anymore, Lucifer embraced his creation and was rejoiced when Sandalphon returned the gesture, comfortably nesting his head in the crook of his neck.

They stood there for a while, basking in each other's warmth. While not entirely satisfied with the answer, Sandalphon understood Lucifer's emotions more than ever and realized why he acted the way he did and why he created him the way he is. An act of Love, he thought, to become whatever he wanted or wished, something Lucifer could never hope to achieve.

"But...", came Sandalphon's soft voice. "How will I know?", his arms tightened around Lucifer's body. "How will I know what I want to be?"

"There's time, you should not worry too much about it.", Lucifer reassured, running his fingers between that dark, brown hair he loved so much. Then, thinking it a bit more, he added. "Well, perhaps you could try it differently. Instead of painfully and blindly searching for a purpose, ask yourself, what would you like to do? What do you think you would like to do at the time begin?"

Sandalphon thought about it for a long moment, caressed by the warmth of Lucifer's core and gentle petting. He snuggled closer. He wanted to be at his side, that's for sure, but that alone couldn't just be, he suspected it might have been Lucifer's initial thought when creating him but never properly expressed it. It was simple, indeed, to have someone you could rely on, someone to call an equal. He wanted to aid Lucifer, he wanted to ease that burden, he wanted to see that bright smile more often. The High Council was not impressed with Sandalphon's creation but Lucifer couldn't be bothered. Lucilius definitely expected some more but like the Supreme Primarch said, anything would have satisfied for he was meant to be a spare in the end.

"I want to stay with you.", Sandalphon said. "I want to be of help, I will do anything for that to happen. Perhaps showing that I can is going to change their minds about me..."

"That's a good start. What kind of help would you like to do?"

"...Well, I see you and Lucilius always working in awful conditions... Would you allow me to... um, organize the office? I-I don't suppose you gave me critical and great intellect s-so I don't believe I can... be a big help when... well...", Sandalphon sheepishly hid himself on Lucifer's neck once again, a deep blush of embarrassment covering his face.

"You do, actually. The circumstances made you believe you are not worth or even capable of using said intellect.", Lucifer sighed. "Yet another failure of my own hands, I'm sorry you had to go through that.", he felt Sandalphon's arms squeeze him even tighter if it was even possible. "We can start organizing the office. I'm sure Lucilius will appreciate it, in his own way."

The comment made the smaller primal laugh and Lucifer was glad it was over now. Coming face to face with their emotions and thoughts was something terrifying but it definitely brought them closer. Lucifer hoped it stayed like this and he could guide Sandalphon in his search for a purpose more easily now that their hearts were properly laid out.


End file.
